fightingthecage: (Gene - Basically God)

I say life update but really, there is very little new to report. Evie has turned from a little girl that behaves nicely into a fully-fledged independant Person who just happens to throw a screaming fit if she doesn't get what she wants - on one hand, this is a nightmare but on the other, I'm glad she has her own mind, obviously. She's a bit better than she was a month ago so that's good.

Babydaddy and work are of the same old same. Ditto: mother (halp halp, she's coming up next weekend). I am on the verge of quitting my job but need to find something part time and flexible to replace it before I go anywhere. Bleugh, boring. Moving on. *washes hands of*

Fandom is what's fun at the moment! M'ways obviously (always awesome) and my new one, Life on Mars/Ashes to Ashes. It's quite rare these days that I like a show enough to delve into the forums but there you go, it can't be helped in this case. I am quite disturbed by the strength of my attraction to a racist, sexist, homophobic, slightly overweight middle-aged man. But then, good guys are boring. I like Sam Tyler - hell, I even quite like Alex Drake these days - but I'm quite happy to watch their stories once and leave it at that. I compulsively rewatch only for Gene who I have decided is the person actually in control of the whole universe.

There is possibly not a single person on my flist who still watches this show so I'll shut up now.

I am so behind on 24 that I think I'll just d/l the eps and then marathon them at the end of the series. I was sad to discover the other day that this'll be the last but not at all surprised either. Movies though, yay! Hopefully that means Jack won't die at the end? Facebook totally spoiled me for the Renee thing though I have no idea how it comes about, so I'll look forward to catching up with that.

SPN - I still have last weeks ep to watch but I'll wait for tonight's now and watch them together. Am very excited about the ending of this season!

Fuck, I am so boring these days. SIX WEEKS UNTIL DOWNLOAD, BABY! That is going to be a weekend of such ridiculous excess, it'll fill all my non-boring desires for the rest of the year. I am determined to Make This So. Do not ask how, for I shall plead the fifth, but just trust that I'll be behaving exactly like a 31 year old mother shouldn't. :D!

OK, I need to go get my Gene-Genie fix. And then possibly start this fic that wrote itself in my head the other night. And reply to tags, hell yeah.
fightingthecage: (AC/DC - Hell's Bells)

This is where I live )

If my house was on fire, I'd have Evie in one arm and this in the other )

A couple of recent Evie ones )

Hmmm. 'A few' turned into a lot. I am so happy I can upload photos again. Yay for fixed computers!
fightingthecage: (Orgy)

My current life in bullet points, as I haven't updated in ages and...I don't know. I feel lethargic today.

- I'm moving house next week. My landlord decided to try and sell my house (ha! Good luck with that!) so didn't renew my tenancy. It kind of pissed me off a bit when I first got the letter because while this house has many problems, it does have an amazing garden for Evie. And also, ugh, packing.

But now I'm fine with it because it's been remarkably straightforward this time around. I've found a nice place close to where I work and OMG YES, the house needs nothing doing to it - no painting or repairs or anything. Heaven! And it has a lush converted attic I'm going to have for my room. And a cellar. Awesome. But no garden, BOO! Anyway, all I have to do is pack everything here and wait for the removal men. Which...I am putting off doing by updating this instead. I have a week though so I'm not stressing and even taking the opportunity to thin out my possessions. Even donating books! It's painful but has to be done.

- I hate my job. Hate it hate it hate it.

- Evie is turning into a precocious little girl and I love it. She doesn't let her lack of speaking ability hold her back in getting what she wants - she's taken to taking people's hands and dragging them to wherever she wants them to be. In the last week, she has learnt to say 'go', 'thank you' and 'all right' - this last usually delivered with a sigh when asked to pick something up, or similar. She doesn't seem to learn single words now, just two at a time. And she constantly runs around happily, yelling her head off, laughing, being cheeky as all get out...ahhh, my little girl. I do love her so. *beams*

- Things seem odd with Steve and I don't know why. Sometimes odd in a good way, sometimes bad. I can't figure it out and have given up trying.

- I am still in a quandry as to whether to go to Uni this year or not. This'll probably get a post of its own as it's complicated and I need to write it down in order to be able to work it through. I can't be bothered now though.

- One of my two New Years Resolutions this year was to start taking guitar lessons, and I have. And I love them! I can't afford the other one, which was to get my full motorbike licence. No matter, I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions anyway. But I do love my guitar, oh hell yeah. Lessons are going very well. :)

- Exam results in two weeks. Yay! I'm not worried, to be honest, but still have a chill of nervous anticipation when I think of it. I always quite like getting results and this time they should be good and will mean I haven't wasted the last three years. In an abstract sort of way, I feel chuffed with myself that I juggled a child, a job and college and will hopefully come out with top grades. On the other hand, I just did what had to be done so don't really think much of it. I just wish I could make up my mind over what to do next.

- Bloody hell, it's August. Where did this year go? In a months time, it'll be autumn and Christmas stuff will start appearing in the shops. Where the hell is the blazing summer we were promised? Bad show, England. Yet again. Bad show.

- I lost internet for five days there and as a result, read a book. I used to read two or three a week. I think that was the second full one I've read this year which makes this news worthy of a bullet point (hyphen? I don't know how to HTML bullet points) of it's own. It was a completely rubbish book but that's not the point.

OK, I'd better go pack something. Has anything interesting/brilliant/exciting been happening for anyone? Do let me know. I've been incredibly emo this month and haven't been keeping up with my flist at all. Apologies.
fightingthecage: (MR - Paris View)

Looking at these gorgeous photos made me sad. Maybe sad isn't the right word. Wistful? It would have been nice to have been that happy when I was pregnant. And I won't lie, it would have been nice to have looked that good.

I totally edited that bit there without even realising it. I had origninally intended to say, 'It would have been nice to be have been able to be that happy when I was pregnant'. Then I told myself to shut up, because everyone can control their own happiness if they want to, right? Etc etc, blah blah.

But really, no. In that situation, no. I'm sure other people reading this (if people read this) can think of times when their happiness has been out of their own control - and really, I think that's OK. It may not be sensible to let others have that much influence on your emotions but you know what? If they do, then it shows you care. And that's OK. It's really OK. We may get hurt but there's nothing wrong with letting someone else have part of you, even if only for a while. It's what we're made for.

And I'm not sad now. I've had a wonderful day and the bad time is behind me and I wouldn't change Evie and Steve for anything.

/pointless post.


Feb. 22nd, 2009 07:08 pm
fightingthecage: (SPN - Grinning!Sam)

I am sitting here watching Steve plant kisses all over Evie's forehead. It's the first time I've ever seen him kiss her and I am dead.
fightingthecage: (Default)

Why is Paypal such an arse. Why, WHY?! We were getting on so well until six months ago and then it pulled some complete bullshit and now I can't use my account. Tell me, Paypal, how you can 'detect unusual activity on the card your account is linked to' when that card hasn't been fucking used for about two years? And if the non-use is the issue, why not just say so? And no, assholes, I cannot re-validate the card to get my account going again because like I said, it hasn't been used. I DO NOT HAVE THAT CARD ANYMORE. So fuck you. Give me my account back. My pups and I want icons. I want to buy an AC/DC ticket off Ebay. I said I'd sent money to an old mate as sponsorship for her half-marathon. GIVE ME MY ACCOUNT BACK!

And Jonna? Anytime you want to stop scrolling pages down to the bottom at random moments and resetting the cursor to odd places so I can't type more than four words consecutively, THAT'D BE FUCKING GOOD TOO!

Gragh! *hits things frustratedly*

In other news, I thought Evie was better today. And she was, until she went for her nap. Then she decided to alternate screaming with whinging practically non-stop for the next five hours. Thank goodness Steve has more patience than I do...though to be fair, he didn't have to put up with it all day yesterday.

Right, I'm going to bed.
fightingthecage: (Chrimbo - Star Ornamnent)

Moar Chrimbo pics )

Hope everyone's having a good start to 2009.
fightingthecage: (B&W - Football)

Christmas has been OK. It was a bit meh during the day because it was just Evie and I and she was a bit tired and therefore grumpy. But she had a sleep before Steve came over and so was dead cheerful about opening her presents (which she still hasn't got the hang of but she likes playing with the paper) and we had lots of fun and took lots of photos and it was lovely. *beams* So that was good.

Doctor Who; Cut For Spoilers )

Hope everyone had a great Chrimbo/other holiday of your choosing/Thursday.
fightingthecage: (Chrimbo - Smiling Snowman)

It snowed this morning, SQUEEE! It only lasted about twenty minutes but it stuck and everything and was lush. Everybody at college was v.excited and it put everyone in a good mood, which was nice. More forecasted this week I think - lots on Thursday we hope! Can't wait.

First of December. Love it. I can now listen to Christmas tunes and squee over Chrimbo adverts and decorations and stuff without getting looked at like I'm a freak. I informed Steve that he was not allowed to be a downer on my Chrimbo festivites...he paused, then said, 'Ah, but it's not the twelve days of Christmas yet, is it?' I gave him a withering look. He laughed and looked smug. Git.

Dec 1st advent calendar pic; Christmas tree. A v. cute one. :)

Still have not done coursework - it's due tomorrow. I even had a totally unexpected day off work and was rejoicing because I would be able to do it without pulling an all-nighter. Have I done it? I have not. In my defence, I was coming home to get started and happened to notice that the canal by my house had frozen over. Obviously, this merited pictures so I took a walk to get some. Then I was freezing so a long hot bath was necessary. And then...OK, I got nothin'. I mostly dicked around on the internet. Sooooo, that'll be me skiving class tomorrow and spending all day on it. Boo. We're doing Thatcher at the mo and I love studying her. Seeing people's reactions to her is totally hilarious. And then I feel old because I grew up watching her on TV but whatever. It's awesome. Bleurgh, coursework.

OK, bed now.


Dec. 1st, 2008 12:28 am
fightingthecage: (Books)

I hate the fact that I feel guilty about having my heating on all day, even though it's been -2 C through the day all weekend. This is because the house I moved into is on a pre-pay metre and it's ridiculously expensive. But seriously - in the part of the house that's unheated (an extension, consisting of downstairs loo/shower and utility room), you can see your breath in the air. I'm not talking about faint wisps either, it's like smoking a fag - plumes of freezing air billowing about the place. Cold. So it is necessary but I still feel like my carbon footprint is about to make the planet explode, not to mention my bank balance screaming at me. Meh.

I have coursework due on Tuesday and I haven't started it. O HAI all-nighter tomorrow. O HAI OXFORD, I IZ RESPONSIBLE STUPID PROMIZE. Double ugh.

And Evie threw up all over the sofa. TRIPLE MEH. On the upside, Steve cleared it up, heh.

Don't want to go to work tomorrow. Or college. But as this weekend has shown, I am not to be trusted with time off. I don't do a single productive thing. Better get to class.
fightingthecage: (Chrimbo  - Tree in Forest)

I love that I can use winter icons now, and even Christmas ones, and have it not be weird. Should really get a Halloween one though.

And man, y'know what? I fucking miss the days when I was on LJ all the time. This time of year brings it back - three years ago I was unemployed and couldn't afford to eat let alone have a life. So I used to play on LJ and live in Milliways and it was a really nice fun way to spend time. Now I have no time and I miss it. :(

Speaking of no time, I'm supposed to be writing three essays today but what with having no heating my hands are literally too cold to pick up a pen (how's that for an excuse? They're not too cold to type, obviously), so I am...killing time on LJ again, hurrah! Really should write essays though, one is coursework and one is for Oxford. The other is just homework, so, unimportant.

Last week I really wished I could go out for Halloween. Now I'm looking forward to spending the evening taking the piss out of the Babydaddy for turning 38 - mwhahaha, only two years until the nervous breakdown! He's fun to take the piss out of because he takes it well and then gives it back. ...shit, that reminds me, I have to wrap one of his presents still and get Evie to write her card for him. And make a birthday cake that he can't eat anyway but its the thought that counts, right? I can eat it, so thats alright. *makes list*

Ho hum. Hurry up electrician. Or don't, 'cos then I'll have to write essays. *twiddles thumbs*
fightingthecage: (Default)

So, the last two nights I've hardly slept at all. The reason? There has been a strange noise in my room. A noise kind of like a motorway in the distance or a train just on the edge of hearing. Annoying and constant. Still, I thought the water in the pipes somewhere through the house was just being a bit temperamental.

Turns out it was. Only it wasn't in the pipes at all, it was pouring over electrical wires in the loft that just happened to have been chewed through by rats, causing much sparking and smoking and about-to-burst-into-flames-ness. I'm lucky as hell that it was Wednesday and Steve was here because if I'd been here on my own, I'd have probably looked at the water pouring through my bedroom ceiling and just turned it off and left it until the next day, rather than do what he did, which was to get the ladder out and root around in the attic.

I'm making it sound dramatic. It wasn't really. Really, it was;

Steve: *roots around loft muttering about cowboys and exclaiming 'oh my God' every now and again*
Me: *perched on ladder with head poking through attic door* What happened?
Steve: *mutter mutter* Bloody hell, unbelievable! This isn't good, this isn't good...
Me: *picks up something white, sees its rat poison, squeals and throws it away* What?
Steve: Pipes broken. Who puts copper pipe into a plastic joint*? (*not proper term but I can't remember the technical stuff). Water's pouring over your electrics.
Me: *blinks* Oh. Shit.
Steve: Yeah. Its smoking a bit.
Me: ...good. All the lights just went off.
Steve: Oh, thats why it stopped then.

Only it wasn't smoking 'a bit', it was smoking a lot and throwing sparks out all over the place. And then all the electric went off in the house and we had to get every saucepan out of the kitchen to catch the water pouring out of my bedroom ceiling and I have no heating, no hot water and no lights upstairs. I'm more pissed off about the fact that I just recently painted that fucking ceiling and it was a nightmare and I'm buggered if I'm doing it again. Also, more water dripped down from my bedroom into the sitting room below, all over my not-very-old sofa. And all this happened ten minutes after my house management people closed for the evening so there's nothing that can be done until nine tomorrow morning.

But! Somewhere in an alternate universe there's a house that's burned to the ground right now and it isn't mine and I'm lucky. Hurrah the babydaddy!
fightingthecage: (WW - Mrs Landingham)

Oh My God, she's driving me insane. *pulls hair out* And I feel very nasty about it because she's actually making an effort not to do and say the things she knows piss me off. ARG!

Mother aside, things are OK. Went back to work on Monday and it was kind of like I'd never left. The first day was extremely bizarre though because I kept geting flashbacks to last year, both good and bad. Also, it's the first time I've ever worked there when Steve hasn't been around and it is totally weird. I have to keep reminding myself that he's not about to suddenly appear on his bike and that I don't have to make him food covertly because Head Chef Sam didn't want him to have it (no one else knew he was diabetic y'see, and I wasn't allowed to tell anyone). STRANGE! But it's been a good laugh so far and I haven't forgotten how to do my's not taxing I know, but I thought there'd be details that would escape me. Not so far.

Other than that, it's as you were.

I said I'd do an 'about me' thingy a few weeks ago due to the new people on my flist. So I shall do that now for anyone interested, in easy to digest bite-sized chunks.

Once upon a time there was a girl who utterly failed to live in any kind of cupboard under the stairs )

I think that's all the basics and will make some sense of the things I post most about. Long, naturally. I never know when to shut up.

Now. Do I watch the new Indiana Jones movie, which the magic fairies magically and invisibly deposited on my harddrive this morning? Or do I watch more football? Decisions decisions.
fightingthecage: (QasF - Mikey Dancing)

DONE WITH ENGLISH UNTIL SEPTEMBER! Could I be happier about this? No, I don't think I could. It has dragged quite horrendously this year. The exam went...OK. I spent longer than I should have on the first question because a) I had quite a lot to say (and was not as concise as I should have been) and b) I thought I wouldn't have much to say on the second (language) question. Of course, it turns out that I could have spent frickin' ages on the language stuff because I crammed a bunch of terms into my head last night (most of which have now disappeared forever) and so, I ran out of time. I feel a B coming on. As long as it's a good B it's OK though, because I'll still get an A overall if that's the case. Then again, I thought I didn't do very well on a question last year and it turned out I got 90% so I guess we'll see. It's done now and I never stress about exams after they're finished.

Steve looked after Evie on his own for the first time and it went swimmingly! I came home and he was feeding her and she had orange stuff all over her chops and was grinning madly, so that was good. He also stayed another two and a half hours after I got home and it was lovely and I am all squishy inside from watching him with her. :D

It is the Champions League final tonight. I am so excited, I honestly think I might be sick. Seriously and honestly. Oh man, if United lose I'll be a wreck but I don't think they will and EEEEEEEEE! It does make me laugh that in order for it to be shown at it's regulr time in the UK (19:45), the match actually kicks off at 22:45 in Moscow. Yes, that's right. Quarter to eleven at night. Mental! I suppose it does make some sense though, considering both teams are English. Then again, it would be at that time no matter who was playing. Weird. I don't imagine the players will care all that much though.

That side, I must reiterate that the excitement is killing me. Only four hours, 18 minutes to go. EEEEEE! :D

I have no more college for a week and a half and then only one exam and one lesson to tie up bits and pieces. I'm not worried about the history exam at all and this is yet another reason why today is made of win!

*bounces about*
fightingthecage: (Footy - Becks)

MAN UNITED CHAMPIONS AGAIN WOO WOO!! I should have posted that last night but was busy. SO AWESOME THOUGH! Bring on the Champions League final now.

Today, I skipped the gym and actually went outside. I know I know, shocking. I usually do all exercise safely behind closed doors. But not today! There was a bike and shorts involved and now I remember exactly why I prefer all physical exertion to take place indoors. There are midge bites. YUK! Possibly my least favourite part of summer. Ah well. I still feel triumphant.

Stuff about the bizarreness of the babydaddy, cut for length and those who don't care )

TWO WEEKS LEFT OF COLLEGE! SO glad. I am so over it right now. The weather is too nice to sit in a classroom, I can't be arsed to do homework and am completely over the subjects at the moment. English exam next week, then half term, then history exam on June 2nd, another class on the 3rd and that's it! I'm not particularly looking forward to going back to work but it's only for 20 hours a week and the rest of the time I can enjoy the summer with my kid. Having mother here also means that I can go out some evenings and OHMYGOD, maybe even go and see a film or two. Hurrah!

Evie has learnt to wave. It's a bit haphazard and sometimes she just doesn't bother but she can do it if she feels like it. So cute!

OK, I will stop blathering. Today is a very nice day. :)

ETA: Further to the Johnny Vegas thing I keep going on about, this article pisses me off. Possibly because I've been expecting to come across something like it for a while now. It was only a matter of time until someone said, 'I, for one, didn’t imagine for a minute he meant it.'

Oh, so that's alright then? He didn't mean to assault her so it's OK that he did? Bollocks. When it comes to things like this, intention isn't everything.

Someone can go out on a Saturday night, not meaning to get into a fight. But if they do, then it happened. A husband or wife can get into a row with their spouse and not mean to lose their rag and hit them. But it still happened. And this is worse because Johnny Vegas did mean to get a girl up on stage and kiss her, allegedly with a lot more touching involved than that. It's no good people defending him by saying his intentions weren't bad - if he did it, he did it. End of story.

Also, he's sueing for libel now, against the paper that accused him of the assault.

Edit II: The Revenge: Further to the above edit, I got a reply from PG Tips, the tea company Johnny Vegas is the frontman for. They describe his behaviour as irresponsible and inappropriate and say they're disappointed in it - but hope I'll continue to buy their tea. At least they can state that something bad happened! Unlike Jonathon Ross, Vegas himself (and his lawyers) and others who think its OK because he didn't mean it.

Full PG reply here, for anyone who cares )
fightingthecage: (Default)

Oh God. I told Steve today that my mother is going to be here over the summer and offered to bring Evie over to his place for visits during that time because I assumed he wouldn't want to meet/deal with her. But no, he said he'd still come over even with her here (I have this theory that I've had since before Evie was born; namely, that he told himself I wouldn't be allowed back in his place ever again. I don't know why but I'm also positive I'm not wrong. Of course, he also finds it convenient because all her toys are at her home obviously but it's not the whole story, I'm sure. Anyway.) and that means...well, that Steve is going to meet my mother. The horror this fills me with is not something I can portray accurately in words.

I have no qualms about her meeting him - he's nice and good looking and well mannered and although he's a bit quiet, this is probably a good thing in this case. She liable to blowing up at any moment. She has no sense of humour. She has no concept of what's embarrassing or hurtful to her kids - she makes totally inappropriate comments without thinking of the effect of them. She once told me that she'd 'never forgive Steve' for not being around when I was pregnant, failing to note that it has bugger all to do with her. Thus, there will probably be Comments. About that, about the fact he hasn't told his parents about her yet, about the fact he doesn't pay maintenence, about the fact that he only sees her once a week, comments alluding to the fact that she thinks he and I should be together (what I want or have told her doesn't count, only what she thinks counts). It won't matter if I ask her not to say anything, she is incapable of controlling herself.

And so, I am traumatised at the very thought. It is inevitable though and in a way, it might be good. She'll get to put a face to the name (so will stop bugging me about it), he will get to see Evie's grandmother and might be encouraged to tell his own parents. There is just no way in the world that there won't be at least one terrible incident. Hopefully it won't be bad enough to ruin the nice friendly status quo we have going on - if it does...I won't finish that sentence.

I do love my mother. She can be so awesome. But she's stuck her nose into my business before and once she lost me a job and the house I was living in, just because she can't control herself. Being publically embarrassed/humiliated was par for the course growing up with her. I am so worried that she's going to mess all this up too. Fuck. *deep breath*

Well. Nothing I can do about it. Just needed to vent all that.

As you were.
fightingthecage: (Default)

Hurrah! An entire day where I didn't lock my keys in the car or lose any money or anything. Awesome!

There have been some big recent lj things, right? The Open Source Tits thing for one (sorry y'all, I can't stand the word 'boobies'...or 'breasts' for that matter) and all I have to say on it is...well, if the intentions of the original participants were as pure as the poster said, then fine. Didn't seem like anyone was hurt. Trying to take it further and bigger and make badges and whatnot? Bad bad idea. I wouldn't let anyone touch me like that, simply because I don't trust anyone enough to be really sure their intentions are as simple as that guy said they were. I would be suspicious of what was really going on in their head. And anyway, I don't like being touched by people I don't know...and lots that I do know, now I come to think of it.

Anyway. I had a point. Yes. Taking the 'project' bigger will undoubtedly end up with people getting slapped in the face/arrested/people getting drunk and taking it too far/someone saying it's OK to start off with and then changing their minds and becoming uncomfortable and then getting upset and/or sueing...y'know what I mean? Fine, these people had an evening where everything was simple and non-weird. Good for them. But they really need to leave it there, if only so they can look back on it in years to come and remember it fondly, as opposed to the giant ball of hurt/lawsuits it threatens to become.

In other lj stuff, [ profile] birdseyeview linked to this this morning. And seriously, what? I'm usually laid back about bad literature etc and indeed, I started reading that and just laughing. But by the end of it I was feeling pretty damn sick if I'm honest. The fact that the author of these books shows up on page three of the comments and basically admits that his hero is disgusting (but still a hero!) and the books are crap, almost makes it worse really. Because if you know your own work is that bad and has that much potential to inflict harm/be triggering for a lot of people, why fucking write it?

Anyone who has triggering issues with talk of rape or just plain gets rageful at disgusting mysoginy (spelled wrong, right?), I would advise you skip that link. It is fictional terrible behaviour but that doesn't actually make it much better. It is also just terrible terrible writing (the excerpts from the books themselves prove that, the review of it by the poster is very very good, and entertaining) and worse than almost any bad!fic I've come across and...well, if you want to read and die with laughter/horror, go ahead and click. But be warned at the same time.

SPN tonight, right? I am not excited because I know the format this ep is going to take and I fear I will be annoyed by it. Also, I love the show but it doesn't have me on tenterhooks quite yet - this is probably because I've only just got into it though and haven't been waiting for three months or whatever for a new ep. It's all new to me! I'm sure I will be gutted at the end of the season.

In life-related Evie has another tooth coming, I am taking her swimming tomorrow for the first time, it has finally clicked into my head that the Babydaddy resembles Cary Grant more than Jose Mourinho (bonus either way in my book), I have an timed-essay exam on Tuesday that I have done no prep for yet because it bores me and I've skipped three out of four lessons this week anyway. Hmm. V. bad.
fightingthecage: (Own Pic - Doneghal)

What does IAWTC mean? I think that's the letters in the right order but I'm not sure. I see it around and it always confuses me.

Random SPN musing of the evening: I can't work out if Dean is worried about Sam's abilities and what they mean or if he's jealous, or both. Like - he's the golden boy and always been there for the family and done the job but the psychic stuff is centered on Sam. Sam wants, or wanted, to be normal and Dean never really got that chance and it's Sam thats more inherently involved by this stuff that's going on with him - like he's been chosen. That's got to be weird for Dean, being pushed out onto the periphery. It kinda just makes him the muscle man. Seems like it bothers him to me but also conflicted because he's worried about his brother too. Interesting! This is a cool show.

In other news, I totally forgot it was Saturday. And therefore, totally forgot to do my homework for Monday which means it now wont get done. Blah.

Also, it looks like I'm going to Ireland in the Easter holidays. I've been saying since Evie was born that I'd go over so she could meet her grandfather and other assorted relatives but now...fuck, I really don't want to go. I think its just the thought of organising so much stuff to take and whatnot - impossible to travel light with a baby. But there's also just some kind of visceral I don't want to go feeling going on and I dont know why. Weird. Still, it might not happen - if my father isn't around that week for whatever reason then we wont be going because that's most of the point. Still. Odd. If I do go though, at least I'll get to see the view in this icon every day. Always nice.

Evens says that Steve will be in a mood with me tomorrow. He always used to be after I asked something of him/tried to talk to him before Evie was born. Now I asked him to go on her birth certificate, I bet he's a bitch tomorrow.
fightingthecage: (Winter)

My boiler is making very weird noises. Very weird. So much so that I've had to turn it off. And hey, guess what? Now it's cold. *grumps*

Steve didn't come round today. I'm a bit miffed - not because he didn't come, because he said he might not (he had 'something to do' today. Hmmm) - but he did say he'd let me know if he wasn't going to show. And he hasn't. So I will presume he's going to turn up tomorrow which we worked out as an alternative but it would have been nice to know for sure earlier. Still, no biggie. It just feeds my fears that he might disappear one day makes me antsy. I did lots of cleaning for nothing.

My mother got home and about one hour later was sending me nasty emails. Hurrah.

And I am bored. I didn't want to RP in case he did come and now its too late. I have no homework outstanding (well a bit but it's frankly horrific so I can't be bothered right now), nothing good on TV and too early to go to bed. Hmph. Cold.


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December 2011

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