(no subject)

[fightingthecage]

This is a post of personal opinion. It is aimed at no one in particular and comes mainly from the fact that there are things I don't understand. And when there are things I don't understand, I like to figure them out.

I would say that this is a disclaimer, to ensure people don't take offence - but I'm not going to put a disclaimer on my own opinion (apart from the fact that by saying that, I think I probably just did. Ah well. Life goes on).


i) I don't hate myself. I don't understand people who hate themselves. It seems like such a complete and utter waste of time to me. Life is short, why spend it in self-loathing? It's not like you're ever going to be able to get away from your problems by despising yourself - quite the opposite in fact. I suppose it's sometimes explained by low self-esteem due to abuse of some sort and that's utterly understandable. What I truly don't get is why there are young attractive people, who have everything going for them, complaining about thinking they're crap. Maybe what confuses me more is the sheer volume of these people that seem to be around. When did the world get so emo?

ii) I don't understand people who don't want to experience things, even things deemed as 'bad'. For example, pain. OK, most people don't willingly invite pain into their lives and that's probably a good thing. On the other hand - what's so scary about it? It goes away. Deal with it. The amount of times people have looked at my tattoos and said, 'I really want one but I know it'll hurt!'...well, yeah. It does, a bit. But my last one was done five years ago - am I crying about it right now? No. I didn't even cry when it was happening because it wasn't that bad and there's nothing to be afraid of.

I used to do martial arts. There were a few women training also, and they never really got hit. They used to stare at me when the guys smacked me and ask if I wasn't mad about that - I explained that no, I'd asked to be treated equally. What's the point of learning to fight if you have no idea what a punch feels like? You can do all the shit in the world but if you'll fold in shock the moment a punch lands, you're screwed. I wanted to explain to the other chicks that they're not as weak as they think they are, but what right have I got to tell them what to think? Their bodies, it's up to them. I just don't get it.

I will add to this one - I am talking about physical pain. Other kinds of pain are not for me to comment upon.

iii) I don't understand fandoms based around fairies or werewolves or vampires. Which is fine, because everyone likes different things. But could someone please explain the attraction to me? I'm quite dense, sometimes, at not seeing what's right in front of my face and there's every chance I'm missing what seems to be obvious to so many others.

I should add that this point probably comes from my mood. Anyone remember that post I made ages ago about being crap at fandom? A variation of this hit again today, because reading other journals where people squee about a variety of different shows/genres makes me feel dreadfully mundane. I like things that make me think. I like things that blow up and have hot guys in them (even better if all these things are in the same movie/book/show, natch). I like things that move me to tears, or inspire me to want to do something, or make me want to party or even make me emo...the point being, the moods are always inspired by something human. I don't get inspired by elves, or unicorns, or vampires. Like I said, I'm just curious. What is it about those things that loads of other people dig?

iv) I don't understand pretension. The need to put on airs to make yourself appear better than you are - get over yourself. I think I'd like to understand why people feel the need to be pretentious (although obviously, they'd never be able to admit to being so) but it would only be so I can laugh harder at them. I'd like to be able to laugh and laugh and laugh, then wipe my eyes and say, 'You're good enough without the act. In fact, you're better without it. And you'll have more friends if you're real.' But they wouldn't listen.

v) I don't understand why people talk big and then haven't got the guts to back up their words. I don't mean by bragging. I mean by when people say things like, 'If you don't shut up, I'll belt you.'

...well. There, I said it again. So hit me.

...no? Well, if you're full of hot air, how do you expect to get any respect at all? Put up or shut up. Stop making random threats, or carry them out. One or the other.

If it isn't obvious by that, I'm the type of person who will always answer back if told to shut up for no good reason, even if it means that someone swings for me. Because I don't back down from the prospect of injury, as a rule - also, because I'm a stubborn bitch. But I will shut up if the person, a) asks nicely, b) has good reason, or c) if it really is me being the asshole and I know I'm wrong.

vi) I don't regret things I do. The reason for this is simple and can be explained thusly;

If I get the opportunity to do something and I know I'm going to regret it the next day - I don't do it.

If I get the opportunity to do something and I have no idea how it's going to turn out, I'll usually do it. If it turns out badly - how was I supposed to know? There's no point regretting an outcome you couldn't foresee. It's just one of those things that happens in life - what good will sitting around wishing you hadn't done it, do? You tried. Something went wrong. Move on. I don't understand people who don't.

vii) I don't get people who enjoy being emo over life's problems. Or maybe I do. Is it attention-seeking? Allows them to get their ego fed? Of course, they will never admit to enjoying their emo status but I fail to see how they can't realise they permanently live there, and look at what it means. These people really do my head in, actually. I want to shake them and make them see the bigger picture.

viii) I don't understand how some people think that if they admit their behaviour, it'll be excused. I know a couple of women like this, actually. They'll declare, 'I'm really shallow and self-absorbed!' as though its something to be proud of, and then proceed to talk about nothing but themselves and make no show of interest in anything else. Because they told you they were a selfish asshole, y'see, so its OK for them to be one. *eyeroll*

ix) I don't understand phobias, even though I have one. Maybe if I understood it, it'd go away? Although, I think it'd go away if I stopped pandering to it anyway, so nevermind.

x) I don't understand racists. Ot bigots. Or homophobes. I certainly don't understand sexists, even though I probably am one (against my own gender no less, *gasp!*).

xi) I don't understand how people can write the most personal of things on their lj's. But then (in the case of my own journal), I tend to think that anything beyond the superficial is too much information to post. Yes, I'll admit that I like reading about other people's lives and what they think. I just don't get how it's shared so easily.


So yeah, if anyone can help me out with any of that, I'd 'preciate it.

Comments

Re: Bridget Explains Everything (Or some things...)

[fightingthecage.livejournal.com]

i)Perhaps personality does play a part. Some people just think things through too much - pragmatic, as you said. Logical, even. But maybe that's just a different type of depression. Also - I can understand the type that means you don't think anyone else appreciates you, but that's not the kind of self-hatred I'm talking about. That suggests some level of self-esteem. The thing I'm confused about is how people ever actively hate themselves.

ii) Fear of the unknown, then. Common fear - but I would have thought a good way to get over it would be to face it down. As for Krav Maga - makes sense. That's you facing it down. Besides, it'd be damned awesome. :)

v) For sure, they should learn. But its intensely frustrating when they don't. They don't even realise they're showing themselves to be full of shit most of the time, from what I can gather.

vi) Regretting things not done is the worst thing ever. But I totally agree with your point about whether things would turn out better either way, in the end. Which is why I get frustrated when people moan about what they regret having done. Maybe the outcome would be worse, if you'd not done what you did. You'll never know. You made a choice, and that's it. Stop moaning and get on with life.

vii) Seriously, don't even get me started. People who can't stick up for themselves and then turn the tables on you if you call them on their behavious - gah. It's just emotional blackmail, of the sort that toddlers use on their parents. And I wish people would grow the fuck out of it.

viii) WORD!

x) This is a frustration that will never go away, for me. Because if well-read, intelligent people who live in a diverse city can't see that we're all the same in the important ways, then what else can be done? Just takes time and education, I'm sure, but it's still annoying in the meantime.