Light up, light up - as if you have a choice

[fightingthecage]

Because I am all about the spam today, obviously (promise I'll stop after this, promise promise)...


This time from arabwel

1. Are you a feminist?

Hahaha, I'm going to get strung up for this.

No.

I'm just...not. And not because I want to get married and have kids and be a housewife and live in a nice house etc - that's actually my worst nightmare. Just because - it wouldn't occur to me to think of myself as oppressed for being a woman. Maybe it's because I've rarely been in any situation where it's an issue.

For the most part, if a dude was to look down at me because of my sex, I'd just laugh in his face and call him an asshole. I wouldn't stand there and try to justify why I'm equal to him because a) he wouldn't be worth it, b) we're not equal - I would clearly be superior simply because his asshattery would have just proven it and c) arguing my corner would simply give him a chance to air his caveman-like opinions.

As for the actual bit of feminism where women campaign for equal rights and go on marches etc - well, good on y'all, I say. I just...I don't know. Maybe I should get involved but I just don't care enough. If I ever felt a need to become a feminist then maybe I'd be one but right now, the whole concept just seems weirdly alien.

And besides - why go on marches etc to prove I'm equal to men when I already know I am.

2. How important are clothes/shoes/other outward apparell to you?

On me or on other people? Um. I wear whatever I want really and don't give a damn what anyone else thinks. Having said that, I don't buy clothes from cheap shops. Most of my stuff is from Gap or Tommy Hilfiger or something, which I get when I'm in America. It's not something I really think about - I live in jeans. The fact that they're good jeans is not something that registers.

On men - yeah, ones that wear good clothes stand out more to me than ones that don't. But I'd never turn down a cute, interesting guy just because he doesn't wear designer labels. So...clothes etc aren't important but they are more likely to get my attention.

3. What is your dream house like?

Large. Airy. Heaps of space and set in a lot of land. Isolated, where I can do whatever I want without anyone nearby to bother me. That'd be awesome.

Apart from the dream place in New York City. Then it'd be full of books and near a nice coffee shop - probably in the Village where lots of other interesting people live. Or the Upper West Side where there are some awesome bars.

4. Do you have a favorite dessert?

Many! One ultimate favoutite - toffee apple pecan pie. Warm, with single cream. Guh. Just perfection.

5. If you could punch one person in the face, living or dead, who would it be?

My buddy Ryan in LA. He's the most infuriating, annoying, pain in the ass in the world.

Of course, I love him to death. But that doesn't mean that I don't want to smack him really really hard a lot of the time. :D

Comments

[arabwel.livejournal.com]

Haaa.... do you have a recipe for the toffee apple pecan pie? :D

And as for feminism.. damn, i suck at talking about important stuff. but at its most basic, feminism ins the radical notion tahat women are people - and unless someone thinks that they are not, they are a feminst in my book :P Imo, women are still not treated equally to men, so.. there is still huge amounts of work for feminism to do. women still earn less than men on average, are objectified, and dear God there are so many isues I could be obn a sioapbox for an age. But rest assured, I am not a femjay (aka the LJ breed of feminist that does nothing but sits around singing kumbayajh and being overtly politically correct and smnarky... *cough*)

s yeah, I digress. to me, being a feminist is about wanting eqquality for everyone - not just knowing that I am equal to anyone else, but also being treated equally by the society. and until that happenms.. well, it is not going to be easyu.-

I ghope that makes sense.....

[fightingthecage.livejournal.com]

Heh - I don't make the stuff myself. Just go to pubs where they serve it and die of the gorgeousness.

As for feminism - yeah. Well...yeah. I mean - my housemate found out a couple of weeks ago that she earns £10,000 less than a guy that's been at the school she teaches at the same length of time as she has. Admittedley, he has more responsibility, which she doesn't want. But working that into account, he still makes £4000 more than her simply because he is a) male and b) an Old Boy of the school (i.e, he went to school there when he was a kid).

Is this wrong? Of course it is. Jen said she was going to get onto her Union about it - but hasn't. So if she can't stand up for herself then there's really not a lot anyone can do. In that regard, it's good that other people do speak out about their experiences and try to get equality.

Maybe it's just me being selfish - I've never been on the recieving end of unequal pay or treated badly in the workplace because I'm female. If I was, I'd probably say something. At the end of the day though, I just don't really care - so, a guy earns more than me. *shrug* I don't care about money, so it doesn't really bother me.

As for women being objectified - yes. Of course they are. But so are men, and I know this because I objectify men a lot of the time. If I don't know a guy, I'm quite easily capable of talking about him as though he's just a sex object for me to admire. Maybe this makes me a bad person but I'm willing to bet that the dude will do it about women as well, so he can just deal with it. I would never go out with a guy based purely on looks (unless it was a sex-only relationship, in which case I'd tell him so upfront) and when I talk to people, I'm interested in them and their lives and what they do for a living and what they want out of life. I don't objectify them in that situation - and I don't feel bad about admiring a good-looking dude from a distance. That's human nature.

Of course, if we step into the realm of men touching without permission then I'll start talking about castration. At the same time, I don't think women should touch without permission either.

And just to make myself sound even worse - I'm firmly of the belief that if a woman is out of control and hysterical and starts smacking a guy around because she thinks she can, then the guy is well within his rights to slap her back.

[arabwel.livejournal.com]

ypu know, if this was feminist people would be shrieking at you to "check yuopur privilege!!!" anmd so on before you got slapped down for being anything but overtly PC yes-womyn...

but to gpo past that... you have to take me to one of those pubs when I come to the UK :P I wanna try that dessert.

ahem, moving on... yeah, I agree with you, the problem is, however, that the media and sociwety in genewtral objectify women more - when you see a product aimjed for women, the ads donpt have scanitily-clad men. unlike when it is the other way arounf. *grimace`*

I also agree about the touching thing and the slapping thing.

the problem with thwe world is that more people arenpt like you - taht is why feminism or general egilitarianism is needed :(

sorry about being so horribly incoherent about this :P

[fightingthecage.livejournal.com]

Hmmm...see over here? There are plenty of adverts with products aimed for men and women that feature scantily clad men. And...hell, practically every advert with any product aimed at young people features somebody with half their clothes off. It's just...what happens. No one thinks anything of it.

I am so tempted to go to that comm and post there, just to see what people say. :D Might be entertaining, but I probably won't bother.

You're not being incoherent at all. Nice to have a proper discussion for once.

[arabwel.livejournal.com]

Interesting - my wexperience is diefernet, but then again, I am not exposed to that much advertising. (I donpt watch TV; for one) however, the one problem people bring up often is that the men are nto used as objects of 2use product, get him" like women are, more like "Use product, be him and get ther girls" sort of a way.

The problem is that they moderate mebership v. strictyly - it is a wonder I am in, being also a member of anti_feminist and [Unknown site tag] but apparently my internet CHA is high enough to manage to BS my way through their weeding out unsuitable people-thing. but oh, I would pay good money and bring overttr tthe popcorn for that one. :P

Whee. Am glad... i suck at arrticulating my thoughts because, le gasp, I tend to get emotional andd frustrated easily. Oh so very womanly of me *snerk* i am not veryt academic sort of a person, am afraid... (which is funny, because I used to want to spend my life in the hallowed hallsw to get a PhD. decided to screw it after dropping out of HS.. too much work)

[surexit.livejournal.com]

Do you believe that women are equal to men? If yes, you are a feminist. If not, you are... not a very nice huamn being. *grins*

Seriously, it's as simple as that.

[fightingthecage.livejournal.com]

I don't agree with that. I've got friends who think that women are equal to men and yet are still completely happy to let their boyfriends/husbands tell them what to do and they cook all their meals for them, do all the housework etc etc. They're about as un-feminist as it's possible to be, yet they don't think of themselves as inferior.

It's just not that clear-cut. And I don't like the label anyway. I'm perfectly happy just to be me though - if other people want to stick the feminist badge on me, then so be it. I won't do anything but ignore it. *g*

[surexit.livejournal.com]

I've got friends who think that women are equal to men and yet are still completely happy to let their boyfriends/husbands tell them what to do and they cook all their meals for them, do all the housework etc etc.

So? My Mum does the same, she's a feminist. If they think women are equal to men, they are feminists. There's absolutely no reason for it not to be clear-cut.

I used to not like the label when I was younger and immature-er, made a massive post about it a year back, and was argued down. :) I had exactly the same views as you, but they've changed.

[fightingthecage.livejournal.com]

*shrug* Some things change, some don't. Mine probably won't change simply because I don't care enough about the issue to think about it. I don't make a thing saying I HATE LABELS OMG, I don't think about it to that degree - like I said, people can use them or not. Their opinions of me aren't that important, when all's said and done.

[fightingthecage.livejournal.com]

That's a cool article, thanks for the link. And...well, I'll repeat this...

I'm perfectly happy just to be me though - if other people want to stick the feminist badge on me, then so be it. I won't do anything but ignore it.

It's not that I have an issue with labels, including the feminist one. I just don't see how it's relevant to me. It means nothing to me, it's a non-issue in my life. So when someone says to me, 'You Are A Feminist,' I just shrug and say 'whatever.'

I have opinions on most things. Some things I know more about than others, but I'll always admit it if I don't know something. For example, before this debate came up, I never knew that simply believing women to be equal to men made me a feminist. And I still don't really believe that it does - because that's just common sense. Why does there have to be a name for something that just is? It's like trying to take the feeling you get when you look at someone you love and then put a name to it. Some things just are and this is one of them.

Basically, it boils down to - I don't think of myself as a feminist, which is why I say 'no' when someone asks me if I am one. But if having common sense makes me part of a group somehow, then OK. I can live with that. It won't affect a thing about me so I just see it as pointless. Does that make sense?

[fightingthecage.livejournal.com]

Oh, and to also add...

If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist.

I don't really do any of those things. I don't think about it. I don't support, think well or ill or work towards equality of the sexes. OK, there can be a argument made for the fact that it seems obvious to me that the sexes are equal that means I 'support' it I suppose - but I don't actively. To me, there's a difference.

I'm apathetic on the subject. I don't go one way or the other. And if we're really getting into detail about this - are the sexes equal? Yes, in personal terms. But - as someone pointed out earlier - women often get paid less/treated worse in the workplace/looked down upon simply for being women. So in economic terms, we're not equal. Do I think we should be? Sure. But I don't do anything about it and to me, if someone doesn't do something about an issue, they don't really have a right to call themselves part of the group. It's like someone who never goes outside calling themself an athelete.

Maybe that souds harsh but I can't think of a better way to word it right now. I am TOTALLY COOL with anyone calling themself a feminist, whether they participate or not. But for me personally, I don't think I really have a right to as I honestly don't care that much about the issue, or the name.

[magnoliarose.livejournal.com]

You're you, period, and that's all that matters. Personally speaking, I kinda like the you that you are - feminist or not. Doesn't really matter one way or the other, I'm thinking. :)

[fightingthecage.livejournal.com]

I have to agree with ya mate, it doesn't matter. *hugs* :D

[magnoliarose.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

How goes it widcha? Are you pulling another all nighter? I do hope you have nourishment to sustain you, if so... ;):D

[fightingthecage.livejournal.com]

It goes OK, thanks mate! And yep, another all nighter - I have the house to myself so I'm taking advantage of it to stay up and play ,loud music. Bet the neighbours love me! *g*

And I have tea! So life is of the good. How are you doing?

[magnoliarose.livejournal.com]

I'm quite well, thanks. Working a lot, which means I'm not in my normal haunts all that much anymore. OH well, eh? :)

Playing loud music, eh? You go, girl! Who cares what the nosy ol' neighbors think, anyway?? ;)

Did you ever finish that novel you were going to write? *anxiously awaiting*

[fightingthecage.livejournal.com]

Bah the work. *smites it for you*

Hee! The neighbours can deal. Luckily, this is an old house with thick walls, so it's not so bad. :)

And...*eyes it* It's not finished. I keep altering bits, but it's more done than not at this stage. Which can only be a good thing, right? *wants to be done with it*

[magnoliarose.livejournal.com]

Yup, tis a good thing. You're an absolutely fantastic writer, and I'm quite certain your novel will be terrific! I'm waiting for my autographed first edition, ya know. :D

[fightingthecage.livejournal.com]

Awwww, you rock matey. :D And you'll the first one to get one, promise. Well, second after The Mother, but that sort of has to be done. :D