All that I ever was, is there in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

[fightingthecage]

Looking at these gorgeous photos made me sad. Maybe sad isn't the right word. Wistful? It would have been nice to have been that happy when I was pregnant. And I won't lie, it would have been nice to have looked that good.

I totally edited that bit there without even realising it. I had origninally intended to say, 'It would have been nice to be have been able to be that happy when I was pregnant'. Then I told myself to shut up, because everyone can control their own happiness if they want to, right? Etc etc, blah blah.

But really, no. In that situation, no. I'm sure other people reading this (if people read this) can think of times when their happiness has been out of their own control - and really, I think that's OK. It may not be sensible to let others have that much influence on your emotions but you know what? If they do, then it shows you care. And that's OK. It's really OK. We may get hurt but there's nothing wrong with letting someone else have part of you, even if only for a while. It's what we're made for.

And I'm not sad now. I've had a wonderful day and the bad time is behind me and I wouldn't change Evie and Steve for anything.

/pointless post.

Comments

[innerbrat]

Bear with me while I try and phrase this right?

I think that actually everyone can control their own happiness. I just think that it's a false assumption to go from that to the idea that controlling your own happiness is easy. It's not, and sometimes you're not happy when you would rather be happy. And the ability to control one's happiness has to be learned.

For example, let's say everyone could learn to drive a car. With the right teacher, the right conditions to take the lessons, the right effort applied to the lessons and the right practice followed, then sure. But no one can just sit behind a wheel and suddenly be Lewis Hamilton.

I think brains are like that. We can control them, but it's not instinctive, and yes, it's entirely OK to not be the Lewis Hamilton of brainchemistry.

[fightingthecage.livejournal.com]

Yes, perhaps you're right. I was musing on this again this morning and I'm sort of conflicted on what I think, really. I mean - I do believe you can control your happiness, even in the face of disaster. But to do that, I sort of think you might have to cut bits of yourself off.

To explain what I mean there - take the earthquake in Italy. Totally outside human control and some people lost their kids/family. To control their happiness in that situation, they'd have to detach utterly, not care about it and then they could get on with being happy themselves. It could be done but I doubt anyone would, because they care and are human etc. And I think that's sort of what I was trying to get at - when life throws shit at you, it's OK to let it make you unhappy as long as it's not forever. Because things always get better, eventually.

But yes, I do agree with what you're saying. I was using an extreme example there, with the earthquake. It's probably harder to control your happiness on a day-to-day basis in all honesty, and it's certainly not easy. I get very annoyed with people (and my mother) who constantly find reasons to whinge and moan and make themselves miserable because there's no need for it - like you said, perhaps they just never learned to control it.

...wow, I just made myself sound like a completely pretentious knob.

In conclusion, I agree with you.