The final is about to resume

Oh God. I told Steve today that my mother is going to be here over the summer and offered to bring Evie over to his place for visits during that time because I assumed he wouldn't want to meet/deal with her. But no, he said he'd still come over even with her here (I have this theory that I've had since before Evie was born; namely, that he told himself I wouldn't be allowed back in his place ever again. I don't know why but I'm also positive I'm not wrong. Of course, he also finds it convenient because all her toys are at her home obviously but it's not the whole story, I'm sure. Anyway.) and that means...well, that Steve is going to meet my mother. The horror this fills me with is not something I can portray accurately in words.

I have no qualms about her meeting him - he's nice and good looking and well mannered and although he's a bit quiet, this is probably a good thing in this case. She however...is liable to blowing up at any moment. She has no sense of humour. She has no concept of what's embarrassing or hurtful to her kids - she makes totally inappropriate comments without thinking of the effect of them. She once told me that she'd 'never forgive Steve' for not being around when I was pregnant, failing to note that it has bugger all to do with her. Thus, there will probably be Comments. About that, about the fact he hasn't told his parents about her yet, about the fact he doesn't pay maintenence, about the fact that he only sees her once a week, comments alluding to the fact that she thinks he and I should be together (what I want or have told her doesn't count, only what she thinks counts). It won't matter if I ask her not to say anything, she is incapable of controlling herself.

And so, I am traumatised at the very thought. It is inevitable though and in a way, it might be good. She'll get to put a face to the name (so will stop bugging me about it), he will get to see Evie's grandmother and might be encouraged to tell his own parents. There is just no way in the world that there won't be at least one terrible incident. Hopefully it won't be bad enough to ruin the nice friendly status quo we have going on - if it does...I won't finish that sentence.

I do love my mother. She can be so awesome. But she's stuck her nose into my business before and once she lost me a job and the house I was living in, just because she can't control herself. Being publically embarrassed/humiliated was par for the course growing up with her. I am so worried that she's going to mess all this up too. Fuck. *deep breath*

Well. Nothing I can do about it. Just needed to vent all that.

As you were.