The white British middle-classes suck

I just read this on readers_list. And then I read the article it refers to. And really, Oh. My. God.

I will say that I respect one thing about it - that she can write in the national press about just how prejudiced she has found herself. Maybe its brave to admit it - or maybe she just assumes that the white middle-classes will all automatically agree with her and be loudly understanding of her reservations about her daughter.

But then there are statements like this:

Anyone who dates someone of a different colour and claims that their hue is immaterial is lying, either to themselves or to everyone else. When a black man and a white woman date, they are both are making personal and political statements, even if they are subliminal.

...riiiight. So, of course, its impossible for two people to just be together because they want to be. They can't just be together because they're attracted to each other? I fucking hate this kind of statement. Really hate it. Because I don't think that two people of different ethnicities have to be making a statement when they're together, I think that other people make statements for them and just project it onto them. Which is just fucking rude and so unbelievably arrogant that it makes me want to scream. My mother has a cousin who is married to a black man from Sudan. The cousin was brought up strictly Methodist in a country of strict protestants - Northern Ireland - and met John when she was teaching in Africa. I can't remember what the program was but it was something based in the church. And they love each other madly and now live in Liverpool - and he is still spoken about in slightly hushed tones among the older generations of the family. I strongly get the impression that he's only really tolerated because he is also religious and has a doctorate in something scientific - my family values intelligence. But if I ever ask my mother whether they'll have kids, there's an immediate 'No,' as if the idea is unthinkable.

My mother, by the way, claims not to be racist. However, she did once say to me, 'Don't ever bring a black man home, will you?' with a cheeky little smile, as though she wasn't saying something highly fucking offensive. I soon changed her notion of that. And its bizarre because I never used to think she was like that but as she's got older, she's become a lot more conservative. This is despite being a district nurse and treating everybody, no matter who they are or where they come from or what they do. She likes everyone, if they're patients - I suppose its OK for people to be different as long as she's not related to them.

Anyway, all that aside - why would this woman marry an Indian man, have a daughter with him and then start freaking out because her daughter's skin is darker than her own? I mean, surely that would be obvious? She mentioned that his skin wasn't that dark - was she secretly hoping the whole time that the baby would come out white? Wtf? Perhaps its because she's now split up with him. If they were still together and people saw them together, maybe she thinks that that would somehow be more acceptable and she wouldn't have to constantly explain the difference in her daughter's appearance. But God, shouldn't she have thought of that before having the baby? If she'd been honest with herself and wondered about how she might feel, maybe she wouldn't now feel like her she's not connected to her kid.

I don't blame the poster who commented on it and then got put on readers_list for exploding that way. I kind of want to explode that way and I don't have years of bullying or being called a 'mongrel' behind me to make it worse. Hell.