fightingthecage | It's a beeaaaaauuuuuuutiful day...

Yes. Yes it is. For lo, I am done with exams! \o/!

And for the most part, I think they went very well. Which is kind of a miracle seeing as the day before the first three, I hadn't learnt anything about the topics of two of them, let alone started revision. This is what skiving massive amounts of class - and then not catching up on the missed work - gets you...frantic cramming until five in the morning and then a full day of exams after ninety minutes sleep. But! At least two of them went very well, and the other was solid enough.

Thing is, I don't learn from my mistakes. It's a thing. So when faced with an unexpected two days off work at the end of last week, did I teach myself all the work I'd missed in preperation for the exams this week? Did I fuck. And yet, they went well also. Guess I knew more than I thought I did.

So I think I've done enough to get the three A's I went back to college for in the first place. I won't be positive until I see the results in writing (eight weeks, ugh!) but given that I only need C's on all these papers to get A's overall anyway, I think I'm OK.

Which leaves me with a problem. Because since Oxford told me to get fucked, I've been thinking...weelll, I always do better when I know what to expect in a situation so the thing to do here is start at Lancaster in October, apply to Oxford again and if I get accepted this time, leave Lancaster at Christmas, work for nine months and then go to where I really want to be the year after. Sound, right? Except I got a letter from the Student Loans Company two days ago telling me that they aren't paying my tuition fees for the first two years of study. Which, y'know, D:. Because I can't really afford it - they'll give me a maintenence loan which isn't inconsiderable (I think, they didn't name a figure) but I'll have to use it to pay the £3000 of tuition.

So, for a day there I was like...shit, no Uni. I can't afford it. Maybe I'll defer for a year, get a proper job and save up. And maybe that is what I'll do. Or maybe I'll...pay for the first term at Lancaster, see whether I get into Oxford and if I do, leave, get a job etc like I planned. I mean, I'll only be £1000 out of pocket if I do that. And if I don't get into Oxford, I'll just stay at Lancaster and I won't have wasted a year by defering entry. When I think about putting it off for another year, I kind of feel sick.

Or I could just go to Lancaster. Wouldn't have to think about travel, Evie would be near Steve, much cheaper in the long run...hmmm. But. It's not Oxford. Oxford is the reason I went back to college in the first place. I think I need to give it another shot.

But anyway. EXAMS DONE FUCK YEAH! I can lounge about all evening and not feel guilty! I have no revision! I have thrown every scrap of college work from the last three years into the recycling bin! It feels great. I have nothing to do this summer but work three days a week and chill with my baby. Fuckin' A.

Of course, I'm looking at getting a proper job because ugh, new chef at work now that Head Chef Sam has left and he threatened me with disciplinary action on my second day working under him. So I can see this relationship is going to go really well. Not to mention, a trained monkey could do my job and probably with more enthusiasm than me. I mean, who gives a fuck about food anyway, really? Being a chef is a stupid job.

Right. I'ma celebrate my fucking awesome exam today by chilling out, maybe throwing my new pup inna bar and having a beer and a J. SUMMER IS HERE PEOPLE, FUCK YEAH!

ETA: Oh yeah, one other thing. An anonymous person told me on here about two and a half years ago that I needed to stop pissing around and finish something for once in my life. And they were right. So there you go, anonymous person - college. Done.