Stand up look right don't slouch and stand at ease...allow no sex above the knees...

Ha! No college and no work is glorious. I mean, technically I'm supposed to be doing homework today for when its due on Tuesday, but bleh. Maybe later. Will be much more fun to put up mother's Chrimbo tree and make mince pies etc this afternoon, as well as spending lots of time at the Bar. And out with mates later, hurrah! Haven't seen Ginger for about eight months so that'll be ace.

And now I must squee. Went to see Royal Holloway on Wednesday and its gorgeous. Plus, the course looks bloody amazing and I can learn Latin and everything, which I've wanted to do for ages. Plus, they do exchanges with Berkeley in the US which, needless to say, would be made of awesome. And and and, if I get the grades I'm predicted I can apply for tons of extra money that I won't have to pay back which would be both helpful and dangerous because it means I'll probably spend the whole time face down in a gutter somewhere - luckily, I enjoy that sort of thing so no worries there.

Anyway, after the visit on Wednesday I hauled ass a couple of hundred miles west to my mother's place so I could go to the annual Christmas carol service at the Forest Church. This is the church I used to go to every week. I was in Sunday School there, was in the choir for a couple of years, was confirmed there etc etc. And it was...weird. And joyous, in a very strange way. See, when I was in primary school we used to do the nativity play there every year. They don't do that any more so it was kind of sad. Also, they currently have no vicar as the excellent one they had left last January and won't be properly replaced until next month. So, no Christmas prayers, which I missed. I tend to think that Christmas is the perfect time for thinking about things and people other than yourself, so to just have it be about music and carols was a bit odd. Fun too though! The local band played (my mother's boyfriend was a member for years, as were my sister and I - reluctantly, in my case) and they kicked ass. The local choirs did a couple of sets each - there's a ladies and a mens - and they were brilliant. In the case of the men...man, the youngest of those dudes must have been sixty. But they're all real old Foresters and they sing in a Forest accent as well, which is both sweet and hilarious and brings back a ton of nostalgia. A bunch of them couldn't remember the words to some of the songs but it was awesome, especially when they did an old drinking song all wearing santa caps and beanies and flat caps and those brilliant ones with ear flaps that modern day hippies with dreadlocks seem to like. I laughed myself crazy.

So anyway, that was excellent fun. Apart from the bed when I said to my mothers bf, 'Oh look, that's Arthur! Where's Roy?' - Arthur being a guy who was playing when I did and Roy was his young son who started in the band when he was eight and I was eleven or twelve. And I got a strange look and was told that Roy had died about two years ago, from intestinal cancer. He was twenty two - yeah, that kinda sucked. In fact, I got a running commentary all evening from my mother about the people who weren't there tonight because they'd died. It's weird, going back to places. That's only the second or third time I've set foot in that church in the last sixteen years and its different. Inevitable, of course and not unexpected. But weird all the same.

However, it has made me feel more in the Christmas spirit, which has been sadly lacking up until now. I'm sure tomorrow's jaunt to London amidst the throngs of shoppers will up the spirit level a bit more and next week I'll be getting my own tree to decorate and that'll do the rest. So, all is well.

Got nothing to lose, run out of money, disposable blues...

Dear Mother:

Stop being a bitch. No, really. Apart from having been inane for the last thirty six hours (always guarenteed to get my back up), you've snapped at anyone who has dared to do anything that doesn't fit with your vision of How Things Should Be, you've bitched all afternoon about your bf being late (when he's late every time and didn't even give you a time he was going to arrive today so how can he be late anyway?) and now he's walked in, the first thing you've done is piss him off by bitching at him. You've bitched about the heat in the kitchen when it was you that told me to put the heating on, you've bitched about the baking you're dong when it was your idea to do it...what the fuck is your problem?

Oh yeah. That same thing you always do - when something annoys you, you lash out at whoever is nearest despite them having nothing to do with it or your bad mood. Same for if you're tired or have had a bad morning at work...and later, when everything's done and you've chilled out, you'll cheer up and magically expect the rest of us to forget about all the nasty things you've been saying all day. because now you're in a good mood, you'll expect everyone else to be in one too.

Not much love

Me

On the other hand, she is making apple pie and mince pies and almond slices so that's something to look forward to. She does make excellent cakes. So even though it looks like I'm not going out any more tonight, I'll be able to hole up in my borrowed room and ignore the crap. Allgood.

In other news - wtf, wank? Uh, glad I missed that one. Really does do my head in (mother, stop nagging about the damn tree for fuck's sake. The man just walked in!) and this one was/is so subjective, it's hard to know what to say really. So, I'm not saying anything. Also, I don't mind the new LJ update thingy, even if it did take me five minutes earlier to work out where the 'Userpic' box was. Go me.

On a different note - grah! I can't find my headphones. This means I can't listen to my ipod on the way down to London tomorrow, and can't read on the bus as it makes me sick. Please Lord, let mother have some I can borrow. I don't want to listen to her telling me the same things over and over on the way down - she can never remember that she's told me things and ends up repeating herself endlessly - srsly, when did she get so old? Been like this for a while too and she's not even sixty yet. Hmfph.

Essays due on Tuesday = not done. This has not been a productive day. New pup inna bar later though, so that'll be fun. Must go tag slowtimes. *goes to*