She often does have good intentions - it's just that she is incapable of thinking out the possible consequences of her actions. The thing with the job is the closest I ever came to geting an apology from her for anything - she realised that she'd fucked up big time there. It hasn't stopped her acting the same way since, however. She may think that saying things to Steve will be good for Evie but the fact is, she doesn't know him, has no idea how he'll react but she'll go ahead anyway. She expects people to react the way she assumes they will, if that makes sense. She can't see that he won't appreciate her coments and won't be able to see that she could actually jeopardise his relationship with her. To sum it up - she has absolutely no empathy whatsoever. No idea of what it even means.
I think I will - I did a little bit today, by telling him that if she's in a bad mood/not feeling well/anxious, she turns a bit mental. I will probably spell it out for him a bit clearer ahead of time, just so he's prepared. I'm thinking of warning her too but I also don't want to call things to her attention. It's altogether possible that asking her to keep quiet would put the idea in her head and as I said, she can't control herself. So...yeah.
I should also add, really, that my mother has problems with anxiety and has had a breakdown in the past. If she's at all stressed, she lashes out by saying very bad/inappropriate things, with no thought of consequences. Hence, my worry about all this. Worse, she cannot recognise her own problems and if she behaves badly, immediately blames it on anyone but herself. Hence my worry about all this - but you're right. I need to warn him and then hopefully nothing will happen or get out of control.
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Date: 2008-05-04 09:37 pm (UTC)I think I will - I did a little bit today, by telling him that if she's in a bad mood/not feeling well/anxious, she turns a bit mental. I will probably spell it out for him a bit clearer ahead of time, just so he's prepared. I'm thinking of warning her too but I also don't want to call things to her attention. It's altogether possible that asking her to keep quiet would put the idea in her head and as I said, she can't control herself. So...yeah.
I should also add, really, that my mother has problems with anxiety and has had a breakdown in the past. If she's at all stressed, she lashes out by saying very bad/inappropriate things, with no thought of consequences. Hence, my worry about all this. Worse, she cannot recognise her own problems and if she behaves badly, immediately blames it on anyone but herself. Hence my worry about all this - but you're right. I need to warn him and then hopefully nothing will happen or get out of control.