This is not the first time Law has been convicted of a moustache-related crime

[fightingthecage]

Apparantly, the dude who plays Joe on Medium is a mild-mannered crazy guy who tries to break into my mother's old house while I stand in the conservatory with a hammer, beating him back and my mother potters unconcernedly around the house, getting ready to go out. He hurts himself and is very messed up. The police take all day to come but they do eventually and he stops holding a piece of glass to his neck and gives himself up. I inherit his dog, a very sweet collie who's name I forget.

...and then it transpires that both my sister and I have twin brothers. Philip and David. They're both dead and my mother tried to leave me at the Pound shop when I was a baby and then changed her mind and wanted me adopted instead but was persuaded not to. The family saga was immense and then we went on a strange version of Deal or No Deal. It involved me being a hot guy that took his clothes off. I don't know why but I do know that my family is a whole lot more fucked up than even I realised.

OK, that stuff isn't actually true (how surprising!). But its what my subconscious would have me believe. Dreams/nightmares that are that vivid and involved are pretty fucking awesome y'know. It's like a movie theatre in your head!

I must stop listening to Christmas Carols. I'll ruin myself for actual Christmas at this rate.